Dear HR Manager,
I would like to thank you for the opportunity to describe my experience working with the candidate you are considering as a potential hire. I can confirm that this individual has been a member of my team for a considerable period. However, when you mentioned I was listed as a reference on their application, that news came as a bit of a shock; I was unaware this individual was actively seeking new employment.
That said, I wholly encourage your organization - a direct competitor of ours - to immediately hire this individual since they have been an unmitigated disaster here.
In hindsight, the warning signs were apparent early in the candidate’s tenure with us. This individual missed every meeting that was scheduled within the first week of employment, including three I had organized with colleagues as a formal welcome to the team. It was a sign of things to come, as your candidate also failed to attend subsequent performance reviews, skip-level meetings, project kick-offs, wrap-ups, and even off-site team-building events.
This individual has also disregarded company dress code and showed up to work without pants. Obviously, this caused tremendous concern among the staff, particularly as your candidate tends to sit on the desks of others when initiating conversation. When confronted about the missing article of clothing, I was provided a weather forecast (it had been a particularly hot week) and a dubious medical note signed, not by a doctor, but by your candidate.
On the first three instances of dress code violation, I was forced to use all of my administration and team-building budget to sanitize the office equipment and, upon the fourth instance, was required to use the sanitization task itself as a team-building exercise. Presently, I am not confident that my team’s employee engagement scores will rise, putting my own “People Manager” objective (and no doubt my performance incentive) out of reach for this year. Again.
You should also be aware that our organization was required to install keypad-activated locking devices on all of the refrigerators throughout our building. Shortly after this individual joined the organization, multiple lunch bags went missing. Daily. Your candidate is the only employee in our organization without an access code. When they submitted a formal protest with HR, we installed a small fridge in their cubicle. Unfortunately, a foul, brownish-green substance has begun to ooze from the door seams and we are currently all telecommuting as a HazMat team disposes of the offending appliance.
Now, your candidate did (on one occasion) point-out that my tie was askew ahead of a critical meeting with our CEO, as well as identify three typos in a deck I had built for our annual shareholders' meeting. Notwithstanding the fact it was a confidential presentation and I had discovered they were looking over my shoulder while hiding behind the coat rack in my office, I will admit it was a critical error that needed clarification.
To summarize, I suppose the candidate you are considering should be considered “occasionally, marginally useful”. But, for the vast majority of the time, is difficult, if not disruptive.
That said, I implore you to make the right decision and offer this individual gameful employment. If you did, I would be eternally grateful.
Sincerely,
Buster B. Hogworths
Deputy Assistant Manager