Dear Family,
It's almost time to gorge ourselves silly on mass quantities of sustenance and have children get hidden under wrapping paper. So, I thought I would assign some responsibilities to allow me to sit back and relax with plenty of hard liquor while everyone else does a tonne of work.
My spouse and I are looking at a long series of meals with turkey this week. Upon recognizing that future, the love of my life vocally announced a preference to cuddling a feral raccoon than trying to choke down another slice of dry poultry, even with a "jug" of wine. As luck would have it, a meat transport truck toppled over near our house yesterday and I was able to save a couple of prime rib roasts from the wolf pack that was sniffing around the area.
There was (what seemed to be) a diseased member of the pack, but it only licked one of the roasts I grabbed. So, that was fortunate.
To pair with the newly-found-and-probably-not-tainted meat, I am also going to make a garlic pasta side as a starch. Here is my wish list of support:
Nanny - We talked about a leafy green veggie dish, plus you were considering something else. If that is still the plan, all good (see below).
Aunt McBynnie - Another vegetable dish because (as a Naturopath) my spouse is constantly worried about everyone's digestive regularity.
Aunt Bethaltrue - Dessert, not a desert.
Aunt Wawa - An appetizer because you will arrive somewhere between early and on time, unlike everyone else.
I hope you all are good with this. Any requests for variations needed to be submitted, in notarized hard copy form, in triplicate, 42 seconds ago.
With negligibly more love than adequate,
Antonio J. Pensinglyton II